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Today I'm going to talk about Apple's butterfly keyboard. More specifically, his disappearance – something worthy of both mourning and celebration.
"Hold on," I hear you scream, "what is that butterfly keyboard?"
First of all, Language. You can find a long answer to your question here, but the TL; DR is basically a keyboard mechanism designed by Apple that was supposed to offer a lower typing profile and a better tapping experience.
The thing is – and this is a vital consideration – that damn sucking harder than a Henry vacuum cleaner in a Hackney house.
Some people have found it frustrating to type with. Many ended up having keys that got stuck and stopped working. Indeed, it failed the only thing it was designed for.
Which, to be frank, is an appropriate title for my autobiography.
If there was a positive point in this shitshow (always look for the silver lining), it was this absolutely brilliant title (and this article) of the WSJ:
Despite this fun little nugget, Apple's "innovation" has left many people in the nightmarish position of having expensive laptops that they couldn't tap on.
Well, you will be happy to know that those days are over. Just over a week ago, none of Apple's laptops had the butterfly keyboard.
No, no – there is no need for applause, I didn't have much to do with it. Okay, a little applause. More. More. Good.
Even better, this butterfly backtrack only took Apple lightly …
In a way, this saga reflects the evolution of the business over the past decade.
Apple was like your stubborn companion who, however irritating it may be, has a lot of brilliant ideas. You know, the kind that kept talking about Keanu's underestimation as an actor in the 2000s – no matter how often you begged them to stop showing up in your house and tell you about it.
Yes man, you were right, drop it, please.
Nowadays, Apple is another type of individual: the dick.
If the company was a specific person, they'd be the type to read half a single tweet about the health benefits of turmeric, then spend the next five years following you hard while shoveling spoonfuls of it. 39; rust-colored spices in their mouths, before, inevitably, dry-retching (with occasional thick splashes) on everything you own.
Yes. Apples exactly like that. Don't question it.
On paper, the design of the butterfly keyboard was spectacular – and I still love the typing experience – but its application was catastrophic.
Rather than accepting this as a mistake and moving on, Apple continued to dip its metaphorical spoon into this figurative spice jar and, throughout the floods of pungent and bitter tears, continued to tell people it was having a good time, in fact, and maybe if you tried it you would like it too.
That moment when they doubled, tripled, quadrupled on a decision, and it still turned into scented shit in their hands, could be the defining moment of modern Apple.
He tried to balance design and functionality, which he had successfully achieved for so long, but was forced to back off. A task that she did not do well or soon enough.
So, are we all holding hands – what? that fluffy is completely natural, no it's not a medical condition, I'm fine – and sing a song to celebrate and cry. Ding dong, the butterfly keyboard is dead.
But the same goes for the apple we used to know.
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Posted on May 15, 2020 – 13:57 UTC